We all have it within us.

When I started this fourth journey in life, 7 years ago, my view was all about surviving the bad and turning my negative spirit to something more "normal". What I found out was there is no real normal. Every one of us has a journey to take and each is built on the individual personality and goal. The first part of my life journey was growing up with 7 brothers and sisters. It was challenging but turned out, I think, pretty well. We didn't kill each other so that was a major accomplishment. We all have made lives for ourselves and seem to be happy in each of our own ways. I am proud of my parents for being strong through all our good and bad times (and there were plenty of both). Dad has passed, 1998, but Mom is still LOVE personified. She is great.

The second journey in my life it was the dreamer stage. I thought everything was going to be great as long as I kept going and kept dreaming. I had boyfriends, career choices, parties, theater shows, and all the trials and tribulations of teen and early twenties years. I worked, played, moved away from home, was almost homeless, had a horrendous commute, worked, played, and finally got married to a person, I thought, would help me find my way for the rest of our lives. We started out well and as time went on I was so very hopeful for a happy ever after. We worked, partied, got pregnant, bought a house, and started the perfect existence. When I got pregnant I quit drinking and partying and grew up. I thought my partner would follow along that journey with me. I thought wrong, as do many of us who end up in the same types of relationships. His drinking and partying continued and if I dared to say anything about it I was being a %itch. If I asked him to stay home with me and the kids he would have some reason or another that his friends needed him. You all know the story...its been repeated millions of times over the span of generations. I just never thought it would happen to me.